Going Live Ya'll :P

I've decided it's time to step up my blogging bit, and take Xanax for a run.... if you love the blog, you can find all the new ones over at http://xanaxorrunningshoes.com/

Caio!!

Bloggidy Blah

Yesterday I went to the orthodontist. They replaced my wires with the largest wires they have and added 4 rubber bands to my mouth so that it no longer opens even wide enough for a spoon to go in. This is a problem for me. I love food. I need it. In addition, the pain is so severe that I actually feel like I was in some sort of accident. Now I didn't start this blog to whine on and on about my braces or the communists that torture me by adjusting my braces...

I started this blog to let you know, that when I am on Valium (given to me by orthodontist for pain and muscle relaxation in my jaw) that thoughts no longer form into valid whole sentences. Everything kind of floats around. My brain starts processing things about 5 minutes after they actually happen. I look for the right word to say, and by the time I think that I have found it, I no longer remember the sentence it was supposed to go with. Hmmm...

Medicines have always had weird affects on me. Most people can take a Loratab for pain and go on about their day, I take pain medicine of any sort and it puts me into a 12 hour coma followed by a 6 hour fog.

The only enjoyable part being that it actually slows my brain to the point where I no longer feel frantic and stressed because of all the other things on my plate. So my goal, is to find a way to chill out and mellow down when I am not actually injured. What good methods unstress you? What do you wrap your mind around when you want all the daily junk to just take 5?

This is as far as I can go tonight, mostly because right now, I honestly don't care, about a whole lot at all. Russell made dinner and cleaned up last night and tonight, managed to get the 2 little ones in bed, and make sure I didn't need anything in the process. I'm liking his new knight in shining armor bit, it looks great on him. :)

I am feeling so mellow that this is the song that popped into my head to share... enjoy.
Before you listen to it though... let me tell you what I see when I hear this song. Picture a hot June night, deep in Southern America. A field full of wild sweet grass and dandelions. Girl standing in a yellow sundress with bare feet staring up at a sky full of more stars than you could ever count. Picnic basket and blanket on the ground near by, where her favorite boy is laying watching her in awe.... that's what I see when I hear this song. (oh and of course this girl is a rocking brunette that slightly resembles yours truly) hehehe

Damn it Feels Good to Be a Gangsta....

Office Space anyone? Still probably my all time favorite movie.... and today I have been humming the theme song, damn it feels good to be a gangsta and replacing gangsta with Warrior... in honor of this weeks warrior dash and a meek attempt to make myself PUMPED UP....

Thus far it isn't working, but it is a constant reminder of my favorite movie :) So to close out Friday... and to end that FOREVER long work week... I hope you're wearing all 15 pieces of your flair....

Oh... and Damn it feels good to be a gangsta... I really need to order this movie.... no idea what happened to my copy.

AND LASTLY...

Wish me luck... cause the next time you hear from me... I will be a warrior... think I can get some cool theme music to play when I walk into a room? Someone work on that for me would ya?? hehehehe 

The Sound of Silence

When the girls finally lay down their heads and fall asleep, and the dogs all find their happy places around my feet, and the cats snuggle in the chair beside me, and Russell is off on a pool night... the house goes quiet. It's a strange quiet that I am pretty unfamiliar with. The only sound to be heard is the soft whirl of the ceiling fan and the steady ticking of every clock in the house.

It never ceases to amaze me how loud quiet actually can become. The clocks... they make me crazy. Tick and then tock... and click click click... the seconds... they fall away... fading into the past... and when the silence is so loud with the passing of time, I find myself looking for things to do. I must do something... listen to the moments passing by!

I am currently working on my very first novel. I found a writing contest called Operation First Novel, and the winner gets a check for 25k and published... It must be at least 75,000 words long, and it is due in September. I feel like the seconds that are sliding past are chances that I need to be focused on completing it. However, I find I cannot write on it all the time. I have to be in a certain mood... imagination has to be pouring out of me. I find I am usually not stuck in front of a computer when those moments hit me. Maybe I need a voice recorder... ideas? Sigh... the clock... it's relentless tonight. I must get up and focus on something...

I think the looming 30 year mark is also affecting me somehow... I have accomplished much... but there is much left to do!! :) I hope all of my readers are not sitting anywhere near the gosh darn clock in the room.

Here's a cool pic I snatched on my way home from work... cloud junky... that's me.

oh and if you have forgotten... here's a classic reminder of the Sound of Silence.

Carpe Diem- Life Lesson of the Day

I have this ability to see things... hmmm... not like what's his face from that one Bruce Willis movie.... I don't see dead people.... but in polar opposite, I see life in things. Let me give you an example... I enjoy my drive home (understatement) I love my car time... it's ME time... and I happen to live in one of the most beautiful green, flowery, every kind of tree, horses, llamas, and farmy areas in Alabama.

Daily on my drive home, I watch the sun start to fade behind this gorgeously rusted metal barn. It's a beautiful old building, and my mind runs through how long it's been there, the livestock that has run through it, and the love stories kindled in the hay loft. I'm a writer by nature, it's what I do.

This barn... was damaged by our recent tornado events... and it kind of crushed me that I had never stopped... Never captured that picture that I had wanted to so many times. It's kind of a hard road to stop on, there's not much shoulder and the ditches are really deep.... but I do not know what is in store for this barn... another couple weeks it may be missing all together.... with no record of its existence at all. Isn't that the way it goes?

So today, I am all about Carpe Diem... stop waiting... GO DO. Here's my lesson... in all of it's glory.

Fair? Who knows....?

It seems there is a time for everything to go through a period of grief. If you aren't sad about it at some point, then it was probably never anything worth being honestly concerned about to begin with... right?

These days people get bored easily, and they wonder about things like... what if... how come... etc.... it's a form of the grass is greener syndrome... but we all know that saying, and as a population, we all attest constantly that in fact... the grass is not greener on the other side.... and even though we say things like that, and we pass our wisdom of our actions through the generations... nothing slows anyone down from jumping head first off of something based on their own stubborn selfish belief that their situation is, "DIFFERENT." 

Haha I love to hear that from people when you are trying to give them advice, "oh this is different... he's different, I'm different, this love is different..." yadda friggin yadda. No... it's not different. Love is love. It requires work, it requires patience, it requires affection, respect, appreciation.... so situations may be different... sure... but the bottom line is love... is LOVE. Please by all means, don't let it be confused with indigestion... because HA! that passes... love is not supposed to be seasonal.

I have such an appreciation for love, that I am completely aware now that a totally selfless love is not achievable anywhere short of heaven. In realizing that, I hope that what does find me is patient and kind... but MOSTLY..... deserving of my love in return.

You guys can all bust on my love for Noah... from The Notebook... say it isn't possible... etc... go for it... I am sorry you've never had that, truly... but I am not closing the door on it being possible. I refuse. If that means I live the next 50 years sorting through bullshit... so be it.... if it means I spend 50 years writing about it... so be it. But I stand by my convictions... the dreamer in me says find it. Go get it.

Own it.... own it like anyone owns their convictions. Judge me if you will... pray for me if you would like.... and love me... because I'm worth it.

In closing, a song that has slipped my mind for a long time.... that I have always loved completely. Fair? Who knows.